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I was nine when The Smashing Pumpkins first played Jakarta in 2010, far too young to see them live. But this month, standing amid thousands of concertgoers at the Jakarta International Expo (JIExpo), I finally did. And it was nothing less than smashing.
Like many others in the crowd, I discovered the alt-rock legends as a young teenager, when I was on a never-ending quest for “cool” music to improve my taste besides Nirvana, Radiohead and Sonic Youth.
I thought I had left that phase behind somewhere with my Converse and angst. But for two electric hours on Oct. 3, I was 14 again. And I think everyone else there was, too.
An alternative congregation
The crowd was a time capsule of subcultures. A sea of black tees, ripped denim and eyeliner. The city’s aging grunge scene, rough around the edges, drawn to Billy Corgan’s broken lyricism, was out in full force.
I overheard impromptu reunions, high school friends spotting each other across the arena. There was something touching in how decades of memories folded back into a single night.
“We both started listening to them when Mellon Collie and The Infinite Sadness came out, when we were in elementary school. And their song, ‘Today’, let’s just say it has its own special meaning for us two,” said Adit and Amanda, a couple who bonded over the band.
Younger fans were there too, many with their parents, some perhaps dragged along. Still, everyone queued equally for the photo wall and merch booth, determined to take a piece of the evening home.
“I first got into their music in middle school, around 1998,” said Iqbal, a solo concertgoer.
“I watched them in 2010, too. They’re rock legends, I gotta watch them again if I can.”
There are newer, more popular contemporary artists now with glossier concert productions, but with the Pumpkins, the air feels different. It’s the air of legacy.
When the first chord hit
Inside the hall, anticipation built fast. The lights dimmed, and with a single wail of Corgan’s guitar, “Glass’ Theme” exploded through the venue.
Off to an energetic start, the band immediately hit full throttle, rolling through “Today” from their 1993’s Siamese Dream and three back-to-back tracks, “Bullet with Butterfly Wings”, “Muzzle” and “1979” from Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness.
The latter was special. The band skipped it in their 2010 Jakarta set, and hearing that bittersweet anthem live felt like closure for old fans and initiation for new ones.
By the half-hour mark, disbelief had settled into awe. The band didn’t rely on elaborate visuals. Instead, dozens of LED strips framed them in a glowing dome, pulsing red to blue with every crash of the cymbals. Simple, effective. Aggressive yet graceful, like a pumpkin lit from within.
Then came a curveball: Corgan’s heartfelt rendition of “Take My Breath Away” by Berlin. It was absurd, funny and strangely perfect, a moment that highlighted the sillier side of the usually grim Pumpkins.
The band, reborn
Founding members drummer Jimmy Chamberlin and guitarist James Iha were electric.
Chamberlin played with ferocity and flow, a steady, hypnotic beat beneath the distortion. Iha’s solos were molten, commanding the stage. In between songs, he charmed the crowd with a warm terima kasih (thank you) in surprisingly good pronunciation.
They were joined by touring members Kiki Wong on guitar and Jake Bates on bass. Wong was impossible to miss, leaping across the stage, tossing guitar picks and egging the crowd on. She brought a fresh, kinetic spark to the performance.
Bates, cool and nonchalant, anchored the chaos with a subtle vibe. Yet, he still managed to hand a lucky fan, my high school friend Mirriam, his wrist strap at the end.
And then there was Corgan. Less the tortured, angry poet, now, more the jolly, beaming frontman.
“‘Tonight, Tonight’ was majestic! Holy hell, Billy Corgan’s such a diva,” Mirriam shouted afterward over the ringing in our ears.
“He’s sort of toned down ever since he got married and had kids. He’s a girl dad on stage now, but very much still a freak.”
The usually brooding singer seemed genuinely happy, bantering with Iha, teasing the crowd, asking, “Jakarta, do you really wanna rock?” before launching “Cherub Rock” into a roar.
Melancholy in full bloom
With 21 songs, The Smashing Pumpkins’ Jakarta set list was a perfect cross-section of all eras of their discography. It was loud, cathartic and unashamedly emotional.
That night, people sang like it mattered.
You could feel years collapsing, the teenage fury, the heartbreak and the nostalgia. Their songs reminded me of a time when I was still figuring out my place in the world. Maybe it was like that for the crowd, each of us with a different memory attached to each song, each of us realizing how much we’d grown since.
Their music has always balanced melancholy with majesty: moody yet explosive, tragic yet transcendent. Sometimes all in one verse.
The city’s crowd screamed along with Corgan, Wong, Bates, Chamberlin and Iha, the screeching guitars, the pervasive bass and the thunderous drums. It did not feel angry. Instead, we felt alive.
Fifteen years on, The Smashing Pumpkins returned to a city that had grown up with them.
And if they come back in another 15, I’ll probably be there again, already in my 40s, maybe not on the barricades this time, but still singing along.
